You're doing this again??

So, if I wasn't crazy enough the first time, I decided it would be a brilliant idea to give this marathon gig another go. With the draw of a free race entry to a Vegas run, how could I say no? Not only would I get to run for "Free.99" as Monsay would say, I would also get to check off state number 4 on my 50 state race adventure, plus a long weekend in Vegas with some of my girls. Done and done. I also decided about 1.39850 seconds after Minneapolis last year that I could do better. I HAD to do better. A 5:50 performance is more sub-par than sub-par itself, and ultimately this is why I needed to take the challenge on again. That's right, needed. The race is in about a month, and today I did 18 miles in 3:10:15. And I could even walk, talk, and eat a bit afterwards, so I'll chalk that up as a success! About a month ago I was really questioning my motivation and stamina (of the mental variety). What was I thinking? Aren't work and school enough? Don't you remember how painful it was the first time? All of this doubt really started dragging me down, but I was able to fight through it. I knew I had to keep my head up and sneakers on and just keep going no matter how slow the pace. Heck, the plane tickets were already purchased....there was no going back! So tough through it I did until last weekend's WRTC 10 mile race. I really hit my stride and the confidence came flooding back, particularly after I passed the red balloons with less than a mile to go, turning "I can't" to "I can" to "I will"...and then, "I did!!" Then I had the answers to those questions: I am thinking it will be better this time because I know what's coming, scary as it may be. I know what I need to do to prepare. I KNOW it will be better. No, they're not :) Running is so personal (borderline selfish, perhaps?) that nothing else could really fulfill that space in my life reserved for personal achievement. Actually, I had forgotten about all that pain, though it took about a month for that to happen! "It hurts so good" is never more true than during race season. But, the funny thing is, you know it's going to end. Pain really is temporary (or at least the really intense pain is. The nagging type can be more chronic :) ).