Mathematics of a Marathon

November 30, 2004 was the beginning of different athletic endeavors for me, though I certainly didn't know it at the time. Fall 2005 I saw the scale creep up into numbers I had never seen before and began a (currently) 5 year, 37.5 pound weight loss. I decided I was going to do a marathon about 2 years ago, registered for the MPLS 26.2 nearly a month ago, and have a 4 1/2 month journey to the finish line ahead of me. It seems to be all about the numbers.
But upon closer evaluation and the more I think about it, the numbers are just the start. The background information. It has increasingly become about the feelings and emotions behind what I am going to do and the journey I am about to start. And so far they have taken me on a roller coaster...and I'm only maintaining at about 6 miles a week at this point! I have been having dreams about waking up late, having to run or bike to the start line because I forget I have a car, and getting there just as the gun goes off, only to realize that I haven't eaten breakfast and I don't know what to do with my keys! I know (well, I'm pretty sure!) this isn't going to happen and I know that I'm not going to win and that I will finish, so I'm not sure what I am afraid of exactly. Maybe reaching one of my ultimate goals. This has always been a goal that has been in the back of my mind (the WAY back) as something sweet to do, but never (and I do mean never) have I thought that it would actually happen. And now it might. And then that dream is no longer a dream. The dream is dead the moment it becomes reality. Perhaps going somewhere I've never gone, but have seen many others go. I've seen exactly what this is like. I've studied this stuff and have written papers about it. I know exactly what my body is going to do down to the cellular level and how I am going to feel. It's like knowing the test score on your final exam even before opening the book. I am scared and nervous for the craziness that is about to ensue, but I am so excited and cannot wait to get this started! May positive energy and thoughts and good health continue throughout this journey!